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Showing posts from 2011

The one that got away

Mistakes and regrets are memories made....Someone like You 

At Thanksgiving I usually try and post for the week before Thursday all the things that I am grateful for...from the very insignificant yet it helps me in some way (makeup, shoes) to the very significant (my boys).  This year while driving from Whole Foods back home I heard the Katy Perry song "The One that Got Away".  I admit I like to listen to music in my car loud and can usually be seen dancing in my seat and singing like I am performing on American Idol.   Luckily the only people subjected to my voice are my boys who seem to have been born with a filter that makes them tell me that I am a great singer (I am sooo not even close..).  I alternate between my connected iPhone and the Sirius radio that I cannot live without, it came "free" for a year in our car and though I drive very little (when I drive long distances it is usually with my husband who has since the beginning of our relationship 20+ years a…

....Goodbye 2011

I heard a great line from a colleague "Seems like the days last forever and the years fly by"....that is so true for this past year.  I cannot believe that we are already prepping for a New Year's Eve party and looking behind us at what was Christmas.  All that build up and you seem to blink and it is done.  Our Christmas was great and the boys remind me of that pure joy that happens so much more to children than we allow ourselves to have as adults. That smile of magic that lights up their faces as they think that Santa did hear them and did stop by and drop off presents.  


I look back on this year and think of the memories that were made.  The moments that I froze either by a picture in my head or in a photo that I will have to associate with the year that was 2011.  I will remember the boys learning to ice skate as the year started ...and politely telling me that they could take a break from it this winter.  The vacations that we went to as a family and the excitement …

Have I told you lately that I love you???

There is so much to do around this time of year ...I am pretty obsessed with the idea of the right gift for each person ... the cards and the personalized letter and the tree and the holiday menus (both Hanukkah and Christmas) and of course the planning for what to do with time off....why am I sitting here writing this blog when I still have so much to do?  


I was thinking  about all of the stuff that I have to do and the limited time I have to do it in while still taking kids to parties, sports, and my admittedly shameless enjoyment of the social activities I like to attend (not only but especially) during this time of year.  Somehow I took a deep breath and decided that I do not feel guilty.  I did for a bit ...what if the gift is not right? what if the gift I made was seen as something to be discarded rather than the vision I had when I made it? what if the kids did not have enough? what if ..what if...what if I start just  relaxing and remembering that the gift I chose was chosen w…

Dear Santa.....

 I like the idea of Santa.  A man who, historically speaking there was one just minus the flying reindeer, listens to children from all over the world and finds the time to give them something that will make them smile.  It could be Santa is a part of the Hanukkah story or Eid or Diwali or whatever but really can we listen to our children for a minute to hear what they want.  Usually it is frivolous and full of stuff they do not need...how I wish every child had everything they needed all the time so that they could have the day to get a few things they did not.  Many times the requests though include wishes for health or food or better housing or even actual housing for their families.  These letters break my heart...for a few years I have participated in a program that takes these letters to corporations and employees can choose to "answer" the letters with the gift being given.  I cannot grant the wishes for the family, housing, but I can buy that toy that they asked for.…

Tis the season....Open this one first

After Thanksgiving I know that Christmas is my favorite holiday. This may sound odd for me since I am not a believer, I think Jesus existed and was a really honorable, decent man who wanted to save the world but as for the leap to the whole son of God relationship is hard.  Please do not try and convert me ....trust me enough years of parochial education did not do it you will not be successful either.  However, this does not stop me from going totally bonkers for the season. This also does not preclude me from thinking the message of Jesus is a good one...call him a prophet if you will, a man if you must, but for me it goes back to someone who by all accounts did not nothing more beyond wanting to change the world for the better. Since I had children for some reason I also seem to get weepy at the thought of poor Mary and Joseph and being turned away...after all it is pretty relevant that she was a woman who with child, did not matter whose child mind you, was being shunned for being…

Not turkey day...thankful day

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.  ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy
I love Thanksgiving...for years it has been one of my favorite holidays.  Ironically it is for someone who loves food like me not about the food...there is very little I actually like at Thanksgiving to eat and so not the big pig out without boundaries that most people fear.  


I like the idea of Thanksgiving from it's very beginning...could it be part truth and part myth ? Sure, history is written by the victors and in recent times re-written without any verification by the media who leans one way or another and on the internet ('cause we all know if it is on the internet then it must be true).  That is why we have a Columbus that is vilified for being exactly what he was ...a man of his era who many feel that now can be seen through our 21st century ethics instead of the visionary and incredible risk taker he was (the world she…

Things that make you go hmm

I had a whole other blog ready, written, edited, re-read, all set ...then Penn State news happened and I just felt punched in the stomach.  It is news items like that that really make me cringe, more since becoming a Mother, but even before.  The idea of abusing a child, or anyone or any thing, just is beyond my comprehension.  I used to a supporter of capital punishment but over the years even that idea has become one I cannot tolerate...we are better than that...but in cases like this or mass atrocities I have to admit to my own base instinct to say pull the trigger...the world will be better for it.  In the spirit of not adding to the news which is always so grim, murder, abuse, economic crumbles and in reverence to Andy Rooney's passing thought I would instead write this blog with things that maybe in all this will bring a small smile to your day.


Things that make me go hmm..


Well for one I love a good oxymoron ...is that one in that saying? 
         - Slow Down get ticket...one…

Political Correctness...not

I really like public television.  I don't say that in the "I am an intellectual snort, snort way" but in the "sometimes they just have the coolest stuff on" way with a giddy smile.  Recently they had a program on the evolution of the family as seen on tv.  They went back to "Father's Knows Best" to current shows.  I think I have 2 blogs out of that one show.  This one is about political correctness and how it has worked in the reverse of it's intent.


"All In the Family"....say that to anyone who has ever watched a sitcom from 1975 on, to TV Land, and you will get a reaction.  The network then was brave and scared.  They thought the show would last maybe 1 -2 shows, they hired extra operators for the influx of calls they thought they would get.  The creators and actors were also unsure of the reaction...and years later funny enough it is the same.  There are those that are so politically correct that they want to say, with that intelle…

Pro choice because I value life

Let me start by saying I am not pro abortion...outside of a fringe few (the genocide dictators who do it based on race/ethnicity/tribe/etc) I cannot imagine anyone who is pro termination.  I find it highly ironic that the extreme right wing who is so adamnatly anti-choice because of their supposed belief in the right of life (I chose to not say to on purpose) seem to often been adamantly pro capital punishment.  These right wing people, to quote an old cynical cliche which sadly is so true, seem to think life begins at conception and ends at birth. This is why they have no trouble cutting back on all financial assistance to those who are already born. If they care so much about a non-viable life form, because I am not sure if it is "alive" but I know it is not a "living" thing at this stage, how can they care so little for how this child, when it is a living person, lives and thrives?


Having said that I am decidedly pro choice.  This label has been demonized by the …

Is it time to retire yet?

The challenge of retirement is how to spend time without spending money.  ~Author Unknown

Due to all the stress going on at work I casually made this comment the other day to my good friend "I am so ready to retire" to which he nicely responded "You are too young to retire".  That is the kindness of friendship....the real statement should be at the rate of what things cost, should your boys want to go to college or even scarier graduate schools, then well you will never retire...or will when you are past the point of being able to do those things that many of us dream about.  It may be dreams of languid travel not when the working/school calendar rest of the people are on vacation but those off season ones that do not need to be scheduled around work or school.  It may be thoughts of writing, painting, reading, golf, tennis, insert your activity of choice here.  Maybe you are just looking forward to not having to leave the house at a certain time or chasing hours in…

The other men in my life...

Recently during a conversation with a work colleague she mentioned how much she missed one of her friends since they had not spoken in a long time, when I asked her why they lost touch I was a bit surprised to hear that it was because her husband did not approve of her having male friends.  I can put up with a lot in a relationship but have to say jealousy is a manipulative trait disguised as childish insecurity and I cannot tolerate it.  I am not a jealous person, though will admit like almost every person I can get a small pang here and there if I feel the one I care for is giving away their affections.  I do not buy the whole "Harry Met Sally" logic that men and women cannot be friends because the men always want to sleep with their female friends, boy would I be flattered if that was true but my many platonic friendships with men say "ahh...ahhhh...yes....yes...oh God.." (sorry hard to mention that movie without that scene) nonsense.  Besides even if it was tru…

Occupy Wall Street...

The news has been flooded with the Occupy Wall Street protest.  I would like to call it a movement but a movement should have an agenda and as much as I have tried to listen, read and understand what the group's final one and even what their actual demands are I cannot seem to find it.  There is understandable anger among this group as well as among many people.  The statistics and history of the last 20 years have been unkind to the worker across the world.  The least represented of these groups actually is the middle class. Yeah remember the middle class??? 


They were the class that poor knew there was a possibility to get to, the class that could vault a little higher with each generation.  They were the working families who were proud to be able to buy a house, or a car, or go on vacation because they had built this lifestyle themselves.  The middle class that wonder of America ...where it was not dependant on what you were born to but only what you could dream of becoming.  I …

Bullies!!!

Bullying ....big topic, all over the news, tragic headlines showing suicides all linked to kids who just did not want to deal with the bullying.   I have to say as a Mom bullying is one of the bigger fears I have.  My sons are nice kids, the older one is friendly, social and yet he is a child who is different.  He may have his "quirks" contained but it is because he knows that other children may not understand that he flaps, walks on his toes, talks to himself...that is reserved for the safety of his house.  The outside world need not know he has these....he knows and he is only 7.  My younger son has the personality that says "I do what I want and if you don't like I really do not care"...he is the kid who will continue to play with an activity regardless of the peer activity around him.  He likes friends but really is mostly interested in being validated by his own needs.  


Bullying...I swear bullies were just not this cruel when I was kid, or is that the beau…

Goodbye Steve Jobs....Welcome Kids to the 21st Century

I am very saddened by the death of Steve Jobs which is really surprising to me.  I am not one to usually mourn famous people, I feel badly for their passing but mourning is reserved for people I actually know and have feelings for.  I also am surprised by how much this has affected me because I, while I love my iPad and  various other "i" things, am not the Mac (there I go dating myself) aka Apple cultish follower.  Yes, you know who you are...can't say a bad thing about the product even when it is true.  I find their products good but I find many PC products good also.  So why am I sad about the loss of Steve Jobs other than on a human level?  I think it is because I so admire his innovation, his leadership, his ability to be Willie Wonka of the tech world,  willing to never think "No" is an the final answer.  His management style has now made the lexicon of many a consultant charging high fees to make others as devoted as Apple employees seem to be to Jobs...…

Fall..Autumn...here it comes

Autumn in New York
Why does it seem so exciting (inviting)
Autumn in New York
It spells the thrill of first-nighting....Billie Holiday
Considering how much I love summer I must admit that I actually like Fall a lot.  Probably after summer it is my favorite season for a host of very silly reasons as well as some that are not.  It is the time that it gets chilly enough to break out some nice toasty outfits without having to be so cold that I dread going outside.  The food can start to be cooked slowly and it is the kind meant to be eaten warm so it can heat you through and through as you eat it.  Comfort food...I mean really enough said based on that description.  The magazines have my favorite issues, big fat, fashions that for the most part cannot be worn by the average person but can be admired for their creative intent.  I love Fall clothes, they lend themselves to my more classic side while allowing me to add some racy tights or boots  so that I do not feel too lady who lunches.   My…

The Girls....

The phone rings in the middle of the night
My father yells what you gonna do with your life
Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one 
But girls they want to have fun .............................Cyndi Lauper


Once upon a time there were 6 girls who were not bound by blood but by choices.  The first choice being that their parents had all left their native Romania to come to the US.  The second choice was that their parents had chosen to settle in areas that were close (walking distances) to one another, except for 1 and we will get to her.  The third choice was that they chose each other to be friends with in a strange land, to stay friends with in life, to forgive each other when they were not their best and to let go of one of them when they knew they had lost the thread that bound them to her. 


I was one of those 6 girls, the others were Margaret (who lived in NJ which seemed so far to us at the time), Mary, Liri and her sister Mireille, and Gabby.  We were exactly one year a…