At Thanksgiving I usually try and post for the week before Thursday all the things that I am grateful for...from the very insignificant yet it helps me in some way (makeup, shoes) to the very significant (my boys). This year while driving from Whole Foods back home I heard the Katy Perry song "The One that Got Away". I admit I like to listen to music in my car loud and can usually be seen dancing in my seat and singing like I am performing on American Idol. Luckily the only people subjected to my voice are my boys who seem to have been born with a filter that makes them tell me that I am a great singer (I am sooo not even close..). I alternate between my connected iPhone and the Sirius radio that I cannot live without, it came "free" for a year in our car and though I drive very little (when I drive long distances it is usually with my husband who has since the beginning of our relationship 20+ years ago commandeered it to listen to AM Sports Talk...for a brief time he did listen to alternative stations with me in our cars...but for the past 15 or so years it has been WFAN ..I sadly know the theme song for Mike and The Mad Dog and know that Mad Dog departed for Satellite radio as well as how many kids they each have...sad, scary information I, who is not a sports fan, never would have imagined having) I like Satellite with it's crazy variety.
That was the longest intro paragraph...but if you have read this blog before you will not be surprised ...interestingly in thinking about it I tend not to talk like this meandering writing. Before I digress again let's get back to the topic of this blog. I came home dancing, shaking my booty (yes even Moms shake their booties..secret Shakiras all of us) and decided that after listening to Katy lament about the one that got away well I was going to post as my thankful status for that the "Thankful for the one that got away". Yes there is one for most of us, for some there are many but that is for a therapist to deal with, for others they got the one that got away (my best friend traveled continents and was no less than Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible to get her current husband...all worth it for both of them), but for many of us the one that got away is just that. I did not expect the reaction to my post though to be what it was. I got lots of comments about how it was good that he got away, that you can survive that mad, passionate romance leaving you for one that makes you a better person, etc.... The theme was the same and interestingly only women responded. Is that because men forget the ones that got away ? There was a collective sigh from the females reading this hoping not !!! Is it because men assume they let you go not that you got away??? Not sure, it could be that men just move on differently.
The one that got away is the one that will never really leave your memories because it is the time of your life that defined many future choices. This does not mean that they replace the love you have currently or supersede it. It does not mean it was better and if it does mean more or it was better maybe you need to ask yourself if you are remembering with rose colored glasses or if you current relationship needs some examination. The one that got away is usually shrouded by drama, by lust that could burn a dirty book down, by that love that made you giddy, delirious, manic, depressed and scorched a memory onto your heart. It taught you that you can survive living without the person or what you needed in a relationship. For me the one that got away, if I was to be honest, I never tried that hard to keep. Maybe I was afraid of the intensity of the feelings I had for him, I am one who understands herself and I am cautious with my emotions, or that I knew that what we wanted besides each other was not in sync or maybe we were just not meant to be more. I never regret my past actions, learn from them yes, but regrets nope!!! Instead I am thankful for him...he taught me to be aware of how much I can love and lose and recover from. He taught me to be open and let go and mostly he gave me some of the best memories. I will say though I do wonder if he (since from my post there were no men who commented) thinks of me smiles and says ....ahh the one that got away....play it again Sam!!
But in another life
I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises
Be us against the world...The One that Got Away