But they just won't listen

If you are a parent you have uttered "but they don't listen" in some form more times than you  can probably count.  Your own parents, and theirs before them am sure uttered it too.  Yes, yes I am aware we were perfection as kids, or scared to not be, and did everything our parents said .. except reality is that we didn't.  

We tell the kids what to do because we want them to not make bad choices, to listen and hear us, to know we "know" what we are doing.  We tell the kids to live in the ways we think are best.  Unless you are an abusive sort you have good intent. 

Yet did we not all learn just as much from the times we did not listen as we did from the times we did?  Maybe we learned our parents were smarter than we thought, maybe we learned that we were right and yes we made bad decisions as much as good ones.  It taught us to think, to accept responsibility and most of all to become independent. 

As a mom I want to protect my kids from everything.  Since th…

Been a long time..been a long time. been a lonely, lonely long time

Is there an appropriate salutation in written blog form?  HELLO !!!!!

It has been a long time since my last blog.  I ticked off the excuses that I could use but in the end if you cannot be honest in your own blog it may mean you have an issue that has nothing to do with said blog. 

The blog has a new look as you may have noticed.  Well if you hadn't now you will.  So hopefully you, boy do I feel all Victorian novel writer here, dear reader are willing to come back and read this again.  

Along with the look of the blog I also have to change the frequency,  instead of weekly it will be twice a month. Still on Tuesdays.  In case you any of you wondered why Tuesdays, there had to be at least one of you reading this that did, it is because I see it as Monday most people are rolling their eyes as they have to roll out of bed for work.  To those who do not work Monday may be but a name on this page.  Wednesday has hump day, commercials, half way there - it is all about Wednesday as a day ou…

Reading, 'Riting, 'Rithmatic and Run

My two boys have never lived in a world where there was no such thing as a mass shooting, a school shooting, 9/11 or an ongoing war in Iraq and Afghanistan. 

That breaks my heart to write.   So I counter it in my head that they have also always lived in a world where you can be connected to one another all the time, across continents at any time.  They have always lived in a world where the impossible is just a matter of months or years away from becoming possible. 

We send our kids to school and hope that they do not get kidnapped, like in Nigeria.  Parents around the world send their kids to school to educate themselves, with hopes that they never have to learn about violence and war from more than books, but that is not to be worldwide.

We pack them off with a hug and wish that they do not have to ever do more than a drill against intruders, that they will not be shot.  We tell them to be kind and hope that we offer them a safe home to come to where they will get the protection we …

Time is on my side

Time - no matter who we are, where we are, it is one of the biggest forces in our lives.  What we make it of it and what it makes of us cannot be denied.

Time's meaning has always changed for me.   As a child and teen, much like every child and teen, I felt time was sooo slllloww.   I mean the school year felt like it was at least 30 months long in a day.  Summers, off from said school, seemed to be endless until about the week before school would start again and then it felt like the summer flew by.

In my twenties time became a little closer to real time, I wanted to be in the moment, to pack the days and even more so the nights with adventures, new people, new experiences, travel and of course I had the energy to do so.

The thirties time suddenly became prominent, was I going to be a mother, not going to be a mother, get married, stay single, live with someone.  I made a career change, I decided I wanted to start painting and I did.  I had enough money to do things on my own, n…

The Just Say No Talk

Most of us grew up, if we are 40 or older, in eras where basically the guidance our parents gave us for anything that was illicit was NO.  No explanations needed.  Or maybe it was just not spoken about.

Things like sex, drugs, smoking, drinking.  We did not have discussions,  at best we were given warnings.  They went something like this "I'll kill you if ever.." or "You better not let me find out you ever tried ...".   There was always the goody, which by the way is quite effective even now, "I will be so disappointed if you ever..".   If you had immigrant parents there was a good chance the "I didn't come to America so you can become (insert negative thing here).." thrown in at some point.

Did it work?  Well to some degree for many of us we learned the rubber band rule.  You can try and do some parts but you knew there was a point where you would not snap back.

I remember us laughing too at our parents at their over the top warnings ab…


Most people seem to be all about the resolutions around this time of year, if you need visual just pop your head into a gym.  You don't have to even go or belong to that gym.   Two things will happen- 1) you will be amazed at the swarm of people in there and think "oh my I might be the only person who is not at this gym"  and 2) some perky athletic fashion wearing fit person will approach with the "something, something Special January join" pitch. 

I have nothing against taking stock about a year, setting aspirations for the upcoming one but resolutions have "re" in front which usually is used with words that are "re"petitive actions.  So basically you may have same resolutions next year, and the year after.. you get it.  Not judging - maybe at some point you will get to them or maybe you won't care anymore.

I just have some trouble with the whole, must be the Puritan deprivation underlying vibe no matter what actual nationality you ar…

It’s Christmas there’s going to a list

If you celebrate Christmas you always have a list, no matter what age you are.   Even if you are one of those people who will just buy most of it yourself, you still have a list.

When my children were younger we asked them for a list and they always pleasantly surprised us with the shortness of them.  Now it is funny when kids write those super long ones because if you look at them it is actually a lot of funny stuff.  Kids have no idea that Santa doesn’t subsidize the gift giving, they think he makes these things, nor do they really grasp cost.

As my kids are now past the age of Santa, they get the spirit of it but understand there is no actual place that makes it, the list is still short but it is a good time to talk about the finances of these things without making it a painful talk for both of you.

My older son this year asked for a sweatshirt, a sweatshirt that on sale was $204.  Yes you read that right.  It was originally $400.   Now I do remember my own teen begging for a pair …