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Showing posts from 2016

See ya 2016

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I am having a hard time with knowing what direction to take this blog in as the year ends and a new one begins.   There is a part of me that is just so despondent on a political front, seeing the wars around the world, the general state of too many poor children who do not have basic necessities, the attack and continued rage people display at others differences.  It is hard to not want to write the blog as someplace to air these feelings - to share with others that feel the same - and maybe even to have it reach a place of dialogue with people who are on the other side of the spectrum.

I started this blog and I am still eternally grateful for the friend who started his, then stopped, who told me that there is never a reason not to try it.  It was a place for all those things that bind us, a place for shared experiences and most of all a place to add a little humor to day to day occurrences that are in many ways universal.  Motherhood, friendships, lovers, loves or just plain how the…

Do they know it's Christmastime?

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I see beauty in the hustle, decorations and bustle that cities have during Christmastime.  I love how places decorate, I love the lights, I look for window displays each year in the big department stores on Fifth Avenue and I even brave the Rockefeller Center shove and push to see the tree at least once. I love the season and it's total devotion to just making the ordinary look dressed up.    

I will admit that the crowds get the occasional curse words, short lived because then I look at a pretty light display and I am like dog with squirrel, distracted and slightly amused in a way that I may not otherwise be. 

I also really get so psyched to give gifts, to get gifts and to hopefully have given something that the person receiving it just totally loves.  So in that spirit here are my virtual gifts to all the amazing people who read this blog. 

In this year for those of us who may not have gotten the candidates we voted for it is easy to fall into cynicism but that's not going to c…

Parenting children for the future not from our past

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I recently watched a terrific middle school production of "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory", this was top of my list of favorite books when I was middle school.  I think what strikes me more as a parent is that the parenting in it is pretty awful, except for Charley of course.  The parents seem to not understand that to raise children you need to teach them boundaries and accountability - luckily the Oompa Loompas do in the story.

I raise my children with a goal that they understand a few things - the world owes them nothing except a chance to prove themselves, that being kind is part of being part of this world, that we should behave as we want others to behave toward us, that you don't hit first but that at times bullies need you to strike last and stand up for what is right and to embrace who they are and who they want to be. 

I also raise my kids and struggle with understanding that they are not me at the same age.   They are growing up in a digital world and whi…

Give the gift of confidence

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If there is one thing I want to make sure my kids get from me it is the gift of confidence.  Not because I have it, actually I don't and it took a lot to even put that out there, but because I believe that giving that to them will help them not to hold back and go at life as if it is theirs for the molding.  

I believe most kids are born confident. It goes well with their curiosity, a toddler or young child knows no limits, no boundaries which can be frightening and exhausting as parents to watch but it is here that we as parents can teach caution or we can teach fear.  This parenting stuff is exhausting and totally amazing. 

My older son and I love watching a show called "This is Us" and if you have not seen it I recommend it for those of you who like intelligent dramas that are entertaining.  The acting is really good, the plot realistic enough and most of all it shows us that being part of a family is great and painful and horrible and wonderful and a work in progress. …

There is always something to be thankful for

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This is not going to be a long blog because for those of us in the States this is Thanksgiving week.  We are busy prepping, making lists, wondering if politics will be the actual turkey at the table and getting ready to travel or host.  

In all that frantic rush it is so easy for us to start to focus on the "crap the store is out of",  member X of my guests will annoy member Y, am I really going to get all of this done ?  For me I do not really stress it. 

The first Thanksgiving I made was in an apartment I had that was 600 sq feet. Yeah the place was tiny.  It meant my friends who were coming over, as this was for them and it was the week before, were going to find a place and not have to use the bathroom once they sat down if they chose the other side of the table.  The table was actually borrowed folding card tables and pretty much with seats, also borrowed and folding, took up the entire living/dining room.  I asked for no help from my mother, yeah I was 20 so of course I …

Making a list and checking it twice

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I do not know about you all but I need a little break from politics - that does not mean I am not watching and keeping vigilant but it does mean that for a few days I just need to focus on the good to remind myself what is important in life - which is kindness, giving, loving.

To that end it is gift giving season. My favorite - I love finding the perfect gift for someone, the one that makes their eyes light up when they see it.  The perfect gift says I really thought about you, it is not about price but it is about priceless memories.  I used to love Oprah's gift idea show because of the sheer joy she had in finding the things, from the not in my budget but boy do I wish to the I can have that (one of my mine made her list - Hampton Paper Designs - she so wants to be me). 

Here is a list of some of my favorite, some highly frequented, places that I highly recommend and that you can thank me, you know with something from them or just by supporting small businesses, owned by amazing p…

Making a list and checking it twice

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I do not know about you all but I need a little break from politics - that does not mean I am not watching and keeping vigilant but it does mean that for a few days I just need to focus on the good to remind myself what is important in life - which is kindness, giving, loving.

To that end it is gift giving season. My favorite - I love finding the perfect gift for someone, the one that makes their eyes light up when they see it.  The perfect gift says I really thought about you, it is not about price but it is about priceless memories.  I used to love Oprah's gift idea show because of the sheer joy she had in finding the things, from the not in my budget but boy do I wish to the I can have that (one of my mine made her list - Hampton Paper Designs - she so wants to be me). 

Here is a list of some of my favorite, some highly frequented, places that I highly recommend and that you can thank me, you know with something from them or just by supporting small businesses, owned by amazing p…

Marathon Time

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In the dictionary the word "marathon" is defined as;


a long-distance running race, strictly one of 26 miles and 385 yards (42.195 km).a long-lasting or difficult task or operation of a specified kind This past weekend the NYC Marathon took place.   This year and in years past I had been on the sidelines cheering friends on in the marathon, I had been on the sidelines just cheering people on even when I did not know anyone running. I am always torn between a few emotions.  The first I must confess is a bit of a bewildered musing on why would anyone do this?  It is brutal, takes a lot of time, takes a lot of training and discipline and looks frankly exhausting.  That thought says nothing about the race or the racers but everything about me.  I do not like any exercise that much - I love my tennis and I love my walking but that is where this ends.  The second thought is humility in the face of these runners who do all of the above and manage to complete the race, never mind the o…

Taking a step back

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In a world that appears to constantly rushing forward, where 15 min of fame has turned into 15 min to get your point across and have it appear as fact whether it is or not.  A place where technology moves at the speed of light and we more often than not find ourselves wondering why we agreed to that one more thing I think we need a Take A Breath Day.

Not an add on to a scheduled time, or a few hours, but a whole day where we can sit back and not be caught in the frenzy.  

As a woman who works outside the home and has two rapidly growing boys I find myself more often than I like just wondering where the day, week, month, year went.   I am looking at the things I just accomplished and the things still to be scheduled and done.  I am claiming a day soon where I just focus on the here and now.

It is so easy to think 1) that everything is new 2) that we have to partake in it all 3) that we will always have the time to do all of it.

Let's look at the political news cycle -  no this is not…

I'm just a bill sitting here on a Capitol Hill

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I loved Schoolhouse Rock and I am pretty sure I learned a lot of information just based on the catchy songs they used to have.

One of my all time faves is the "I'm Just a Bill" one learning about how a bill gets passed into a law.   I can picture the face on the rolled up piece of paper with the word bill on a button.  If you were not a child of the late 70s and 80s then you may want to google these, they are still spot.  Nothing much has changed and they are still relevant, graphics sure got better but there is something so comforting about these and the way they look.

I have always wanted to keep my boys informed on world and current events.  I of course filter some of it, there is too much hurt out there and some things are just not age appropriate in detail but I have never shied away from telling them when things are wrong just as much as I tell them when things are right.

It is a balance to do this and one that I try and navigate carefully.  I also have to be min…

Do people change ?

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"Luther" is a show that I discovered on Netflix and that I liked for the intelligent writing, great plots, clever character development and oh yeah Idris Elba - handsome, smart and kick ass accent, impossible not to swoon.

In one episode two of his co-workers are talking about how shocking it is that his marriage unravelled.  After all they are two smart people in the show who are written as having had a solid relationship with loads of passion in it.  Yet that is the outside view.  No one knows what a marriage looks like, not in films and not in real life.  There is the public view and then there is the reality of the day to day.  No one knows what the reality is and each person in the marriage sees it truthfully from their point of view, which means that somewhere in the middle lies the reality of the events that transpire in that marriage. 
The other great line that was in the show was "Men and women get divorced because men marry a woman and hope she never changes …

It's only words.. but words can mean so much

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This is a hard blog for me to write yet silence is not option anymore, it implies consent apparently and it is important to add my voice to the discourse going on. 

This past weekend I too was horrified by the words used by a certain candidate, not because I have an issue w the word pussy or the idea of men talking about women they would like to have sex with (sorry gents but women talk in detail at times about the things they like and don't in this area).  I was horrified at the way it was bandied about that he took, he groped, he grabbed, he was on someone like a dog in heat (bitch).  All that imagery is about taking, invasive, not sex it is about power as it usually is and demeaning the recipient because their most intimate thing to give is not up to them to do so. 

I have also watched a few Netflix documentaries that dealt with women in peril  Women who like sex and get vilified for it, women who are survivors of sexual assault who are vilified for it, women who partake in this …

Wanderlust

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I am a woman who embraces her wanderlust and it conflicts with my love of being a mom and providing consistency for my sons which then is topped by a whopping dose of guilt about this. 

I have never lived any in one place for as long as I have lived in my current home, 12 years to be exact.   My sons on the other hand think of the idea of moving as totally unappealing.  For me being in one place really clashes with my sense of enjoying change, moving to a new place, starting fresh in a new location and no I do not like packing and unpacking, that would just be odd.  

It goes in line with my enjoyment in new things, new theories, different cultures and traveling.  It helps me cleanse things when I have moved and though I have done a great job decluttering (and am ready for round two of it soon) new spaces, new places jazz me.  
I miss spontaneity too - something you give up, willingly in my case, when you have kids. There are schedules to make, follow, implement.   Kids depend on us to ge…