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Showing posts from May, 2017

Dear soon to be 13 year old son

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To my amazing son;

I am writing to you as you are a month away from becoming a teenager.  

That's exciting for you and for me and scary for me, and probably for you. 

I mean how tiring is it to hear people state the obvious all the time ?  You are not a child anymore, You are getting bigger, You need to be more responsible, You need, You are.... on and on.  As if this is news to you.  So why do we do it ?  Because actually you are still a child in most ways and one that is still learning.  Because as smart as you are you do not know it all and only adults later on realize how much they still need to learn all the time.  Part of it is our own fears - that we did not prepare you enough, that we did too much for you and you may not be able to be independent, that you are so different than we were at the same age.  We need to chill a little and you need to cut us a break as we will not stop this, I promise it is because we think so highly of you not because we think you cannot do s…

Did you have the talk yet ?

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As you raise a child you find yourself in the role of a storyteller, a teacher and  a bit of a walking encyclopedia (I wish I was a Google but instead I just use it all the time).

Your first forays are teaching them the basics, eating, listening to you, talking, walking.  Their curiosity grows and you seem all knowing to them, because basically you are.

I love learning so sharing that with my kids, reading to my boys and generally imparting what I know and going to find out more if I didn't was right up my alley.  I was the teenage girl that my boy crush called Eggbert, with affection.   Though if I was to be fair he was pretty easily impressed by fairly common knowledge.   I enjoy the process of listening and learning from those who can explain things that are beyond my current knowledge base and yes my friends now tease me about all the "facts" I store and share.

Being a parent is about teaching them to love learning.  It is not what they retain as much as stroking the…

It's still mama in any language

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It's fascinating to me that in almost every language the word for mother is the similar and the word for father can vary so much.   Of course because I love research and word origins I had to look it up before I wrote this blog.   It is tied to the sounds a baby makes and particularly around the sound they make often in their babble for hunger, the addition of breast feeding murmur (or bottle feeding if that is how you had to go) is also an addition to this "mmmmamamma" sound.  At the very core mama is the main part of their survival, their comfort and their feeding at the time they are totally reliant on another person to do this.

Now fast forward to say modern day teenage years and mama becomes Ma or eye roll Mother and it is the symbol not of nourshiment often but of everything that is impeding you from doing every stupid thing that as teenager you know you cannot live without, but do.

Go a little further and you suddenly realize that most mothers were not your neme…

It ain't me babe ..

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I know you are supposed to, because i get told from every angle, love going to every kids sports activity that they participate in.  You are there for them, for EVERY game, supposed to be paying attention, cheering them on and on and on.

I frankly do not like it - there I said it - let the wrath of the perfect things you have to do these days as a mom come down on me.  I like attending some, none of the baseball ones (seriously just writing that made me cringe a little), sports but man what is it with the expectation that you have to be there for every one when this has no interest for you.  It is not a good example for your kids - no really it is not.  You are teaching them to go with the herd mentality.  I will buy the equipment, pay for the lessons and yes even attend at least half if not more, but if one parent is already there and enjoys this why do we need both of them there when one obviously does not enjoy this.

I do not like bleachers, the bugs, the nasty grass touching my f…