Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Adventures in the Card Aisle aka Bipolar Moments

Mother's Day is coming up - in case the numerous commercials for flowers and gifts, or your mother/the woman you made a mother/someone you think of as a mother who has left post it notes, open websites and other OBVIOUS hints have not gotten your attention - MOTHER'S DAY is coming up on Sunday.  Yes this Sunday you with the "oh crap extra $$ for rush delivery" face.

My good friend wrote a blog about funny cards that she saw in her trip to Target, I do have to say that I love that she also subtly posted pictures along with the websites of things that would say "love you Mom" to her.   I have called her from my own adventures in the Target card aisle.  As I went to find an image for this blog there were apparently a lot of us out there - just searching for that perfect way to say anything from I love you to Why are You Still Here??!!

I love a good card, the Papyrus store is a crack den for me.  Every time it is I swear this time, just this one time, I will walk in and not buy more than the one card I need, just a hit please and then I will walk away.  I walk in and small beads of sweat appear on my brow - I could always use a notebook along with the cards, yes plural cards - one is just not enough anymore the high requires more, I need to buy.  I take card buying seriously. A few people in my life get random cards from me - just because I walked in there and it was so them.  I look at the message, the pictures, the design.  Is it unique enough ?? Yes for a mass produced product.  Will the person receiving it remember the moment that the picture on the front reminded me of with them?  Is it too glib ? Too sappy? 

I have been in the middle of a relationship argument and one of those holidays required a boyfriend/husband card but I could never find one that says "No you are not my lifelong mate  because right now you're life in my head should be anything but long!".  There I stand eye rolling and ready to bitch slap the card right out of the Target aisle.  There is no card that says to a co-worker "Much like some members of my family I did not chose you but here we both are at the table near sharp objects".   My friend and I toyed with the idea of making some cards with the sarcasm we often share on the phone while in the card aisle as we "rewrite" some of them to say what we want to say for different occasions (of course we would have to dedicate our card company to the handsome, smart doctor who introduced us).  I want the card to express my feelings and yet I don't because some of those feelings will be entered into evidence if they existed and I gave them out "I love cooking for you with spices -- like belladonna".  

At other times I have found a card and it just so spoke exactly what I wanted to say - the elegant or funny or memory captured a perfect match to the person I would send it to.  I am literally giddy with the moment - I have bought cards often for the small group of friends just because I wanted them to know that they were thought of.  

So Mother's Day - of the many events you know this one has a bipolar element for all of us.  Yes even those of us with perfect relationships like the one my mother, who may read this blog per chance, and I have.  The dynamic is unique to any other relationship.  For some it is a gift and for some caustic, but for most of us at some point it may have been both.  Bipolar card shopping at it's best.  There are no cards that say can really capture it - it is perfect and awful at different times.  

If you know me and ever see me in the card aisle you may see me laugh, or be wistful, content, annoyed, perplexed, sarcasm dripping from my one raised eyebrow all in one trip  and always there for quite a while.  Oh for the PC police  -  there is also no card that says "Oh shut up" I know this is not real mental illness bipolar disorder nor do I dismiss that but it is a rollercoaster mood ride and it's mine to call what I want.  Go and buy your mother, your mother in law, the woman you made a mother or anyone who could qualify a card - sappy works ok for this group because you do not want to get a card from the one you forgot on Mother's Day that says "Sure after all I have done for you ... not even a card", that one will keep on coming like a bad flock of owls carrying a Screamer Message in Harry Potter.




No comments:

Post a Comment