Sunday, July 15, 2012

Best friends..

There are countless articles, movies and books written about female friendships - especially best friend ones.  Studies show that women handle friendships very differently then men - that they embrace them with all they have and rely on them to navigate through all of the major life events.  I have some amazing, intelligent, supportive female friends and many of them have been part of my life for 20 or more years.  I did not want to move to the suburbs for a variety of reasons but one of them was the thought of leaving my friends or not being able to see them as often - as if having children was not going to change that anyway, but at the time pregnant and without a clue about this parenting business it was the 'burbs that was the roadblock.  I am a very social and friendly person, yes that one that walks into a room and talks to every one, but I do not open up easily and those heart-bound friendships, you know the ones where you can say anything or pour out your soul happen very rarely with me.  In moving I was certain that I would never make another friend and I would be in my car or coming home based on some stupid train schedule after dinners with my established friends - because I believe that friendships, social ones happen, the true kind get harder and harder to make as you get older.  There is no sense of shared history, no giggles at stupid things done in youth, no trust built over years and years, no fights and make ups and most of all not as much time - I mean whether you have kids or not your life as you get older gets more busy with jobs, partners, spouses, whatever and so you make social friends.  I have been lucky though and in my move have found a close, close friend who I embrace emotionally as if she had been in my life forever.  We make new memories to giggle at that involve us doing something "stupid" together (yes Dori that be you).  I also have made another close friend whose family and mine travel with and who allows me to open up and cheers me on when I need it (yes Michele that be you). 

I closely guard my feelings and my heart and share my smile and open arms easily.  

I have spoken with my male friends about the differences between female  and male friendships - they can be in a room with their male friends for hours and tell me nothing about the emotions or things going on in those men's lives.  This is not a bad thing, actually some of the lack of drama between these guys is enviable, but it makes me wonder who do men talk to and examine and ponder their lives with.  In my life a lot of times it is me (the woman friend in their lives) but not everyone has that.  A group of women friends on the other hand will have gotten months worth of lowdown and discussed it in the same amount of time.  As an only child friendships are really important to me, the best friends I have are the sisters (Julie and Elli you are amazing) I chose (with from what I can see better results sometimes than the ones that are actually related) and the group of friends I have well they are family to me. There are very few people I actually would pour my heart out to and that is as it should be - best friends well they are "best" for a reason (or as we call ourselves bestest friendests) and I am better for having mine. BFF ♥♥

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