50 Shades Freed

Guess if you are going to say, publicly, that you are not going to do something and then do it well don't be a politician just admit it.  I wasn't going to read any more of the Grey series after the first one and I have to admit that  I read all 3 of the books - mostly because I am slightly obsessive and wanted to see what happened next.  Did I like the books?  Hmm eye rolling occurring as I write this - and maybe even some lip biting - not sure how to answer that.

I still love the fact that women are buying them as a real F * U to the ultra conservative movement that wants to pretend either that women have only the desire to procreate (stupid aspirin between knees comment comes to mind - hey dude maybe they just needed the aspirin after listening to you and your dumb ass) or that they are so powerful that a mere look at them turns a man into ravaging imbecile (burka or any other cover comes to mind).  Nope - women still like sex and apparently a lot - especially the kind that is focused on their pleasure.  The sales figures tell you that  - the conversations I hear confirm it.

I still thought they were poorly written, copy and paste is what came to mind - with so many repetitive phrases it could not have been done otherwise.  A main female character who was too young to be married.  Still think she is the type of woman I am glad I never was and hope my sons never hook up with - the needy, constantly validating their appeal, whiny ass type.  I wonder maybe she is a schizophrenic living in a mental hospital, Christian one of her many fantasies, none of it more than a sad mental illness...I mean how else to explain the whole inner goddess, subconscious hearing of voices ??? I did not like the whole dominating way he made her change her name when they got married or his entire control freak side, if that was my friend hell I would have opened up a can of whoop ass on him for being abusive.  She wouldn't be my friend probably because her whole personality is lacking at best and I know no suave, gorgeous, billionaire men (control freaks though- oh yeah plenty).

Yet with all of that I read all of them - over 1500 pages of this stuff !!!! Why ? I have asked myself this ? Probably because there is always the part of me, like many women, who loves the idea of the man who falls madly in love with them that he is wiling to change anything that does not please us.  The idea of a man who listens to you and romances you and "Oh My" listens to you and your needs.  The idea that there is someone out there who is just perfect, and perfectly flawed, and he will come into our lives and we will be happy and never have to pay another Con Ed bill again.  You know the guy who doesn't come home and ask what's for dinner but instead hires a full time chef for that reason.  Ahh and of course he is hot as hell and seems to never have an issue with erections - they are there as needed, as often as needed, all in good time and only after he has fully satisfied us with a mind blowing orgasm (and a closet full of gorgeous clothes, shoes, lingerie).  

I read it because I have never really sought that out in a man in reality (I have loved men for their imperfections and have rarely asked for the constant "do you love me?")- and this was a fantasy that made me smile, and blush, and get ideas, and well you get it.....I bought it because I believe every person out there is entitled to their sexuality and pleasure if it does not harm or is taken from someone else - yes, even us women.  I read it because it makes office time pass quicker when you need a break and you can chat about it with your fellow co-workers who have read it.  I read it and with all that I did not like it about it - I am glad I did.  I am a woman who is no longer afraid of her own sexuality (as I hit 40 man that has become a revelation) and who can buy Christian Grey (in a novel), along with some Red Room toys whenever I want to without hesitation.  I am 50 shades of crazy, funny, and maybe to someone even slightly sexy...I am the girl who has never been sexy, who is ok with being the funny/smart one in a group of incredibly gorgeous, sexy female friends.   I read it because I chose to - and well choice is the most important right I will fight for. ....twitchy palm (mine twitches to type a blog) calmed down..laters baby!


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