We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
I happen to really like where we chose to live, and as you may remember from a previous blog or from talking to me the 'burbs and I well we really did not call to one another, because I have found a lot of families and particularly women who I just love hanging out with. The thing that brings us together is our children, the thing that keeps us hanging out is the fact that we can laugh and be inappropriate and crazy and sometimes forget we are no longer the children.....
In the past 2 weeks we have been to two parties which brought the term "where did the time go ?" to mind. The first one was the first communion of the youngest son of friends whom I have known forever. I remember the husband before he ever knew his wife. I met him when I was 18 along with his super unfriendly and dismissive friend (yep I married the friend) and the friendship that started with nightclubs, drinks, heartaches, boyfriends and girlfriends, and a lot of laughter was the foundation of a lifelong friendship that I cannot imagine not having in my life. I met some of my other closest friends through him and when he started dating his now wife little did she know the rest of his buds would be part of the deal...am hoping she likes us as much as I like her. There were marriages and babies, all the while we lost some of the free time and gained responsibilities...though sometimes hearing us you would call that last statement into question. As I we were at this party and saw the children, some of them teenagers all the way down to my 5 year old...as I saw us "old folks" get up and still jump around and dance (more than the kids as you can imagine 'cause at that age as a girl you can dance with your group of girls but you know the pressure to not tap a foot that happens to teenage boys) and sing and get crazy ...acting like we were still in our 20s at a beach club...well honestly I thought where did the time go???? When did we stop being 20 and become middle aged people with kids...kids who eyeballed us with something between amusement and embarrassment?
This Saturday I went to party for one of my sons' friends ...great place with a dj in a park ...well it came upon me again but for a different reason. I looked at the kids and though they were 8 at most and younger I don't know where did the time go? When did they go from little ones who could not hold up their heads with us Moms rushing to library classes (and then off to each other's houses for lunches and laughter) to these people..these people who only needed us even at this age for this party because someone had to pay for the DJ and man the grill. The Moms in the area that I am friends with were there and we found ourselves dancing along and shuddering as we saw these same kids in our minds in 10 years at a Rave ...or in that same covered area in the park passing a beer, sharing a kiss...will not allow for more than that ...PLEASE do not allow for more than that.
Time is pain in the ass!!! I remember being a kid and it was so sloooowwww....I loved summer vacations but there was a point where they seemed to have gone on too long.....then school well that lasted forever and to get to the milestone ages...when am I going to be 16? 18? 21....that toook FOREVER....then that bastard time does something you now would like to put the breaks on....it picks up speed. Suddenly the days are long and the years are short and we look up in a mirror and there is a gray hair, a laugh line, expansions of the waist....stop!!!!!!!! I want to freeze it...but you cannot and there is good in that but there is also the moment when you wonder what you did not get to do...what you will never be able to do again...what you will miss as the end draws near....As I looked at our kids at these parties I was not sad for we had our time and still enjoy our times together but I did wish for them to take the time to make it fun, to make the friendships that we adults had and most of all to have no regrets because time will not wait for them just like it did not wait for us.
Time won't give me time...Culture Club