Midlife crisis and Christian Grey

Looking for some hot stuff baby this evening
I need some hot stuff baby tonight.....Hot Stuff

You pop caught you smoking - and he said, "No way!"
That hypocrite - smokes two packs a day
Man, living at home is such a drag
Now your mom threw away your best porno mag...Fight for your Right to Party

Donna Summer, Adam Yauch and Robin Gibb....pretty much my entire childhood and early teenage years music flashed before my eyes as these people died quickly one after the other.  If you add to this the Shades of Grey phenomena and it has created incredible buzz and loads of Youtube time for a lot of women, particularly those of us in our late 30s and 40s.  We are talking as a group about Andy Gibb tshirts, iron ons (that cracked) as we got boobs (ok as I got boobs) or were washed.  Shaun Cassidy posters with his pink satin jacket...a do run run a do run run (oh my obsession with blonde boys started young, I looooveed Shaun).  How many times after bed time did we kiss our Teen Beat, 16 magazine pull outs that we taped to doors, walls (our immigrant parents aghast at this nonsense)? 

We giggled as if we were still pre-teens looking at Andy Gibb on YouTube (and Leif Garrett), was that a sock or did that man have the package of a lifetime?  I remembered how much I hated Victoria Principal for dating Andy but not Farrah Fawcett for being married to Lee Majors (yep blonde theme I got it).  I danced in my head to Last Dance by Donna Summer with these guys, Shadow Dancing was sung to me.  There was Solid Gold followed by a move away from disco (well except for those of us who liked to dance so there was disco, Top 40 and then freestyle as the 80s took over with hair not feathered any more but sculpted to heights never before seen).  We broke out our Maybelline eyeliners, and the lighter from the cigarettes we were holding for a"friend" hmm, and set these things on fire to make our eyeliner blacker than the night.  Our skirts got shorter, heels and hair got higher and makeup more appropriate to Rocky Horror Show drag queens than young girls.  Our Shaun Cassidy posters replaced with the Outsiders (yes I wanted to live in that house from reading the book and then the movie with all those hotties) boys less blonde but more tough.  Boys who did not look like they would sing to us but kiss us hard with Marlboro tasting tongues.  Silk jackets replaced with worn blue jean ones.  

There were the boys of the movies Sixteen Candles (I ♥ Jake Ryan still) and the new "rat pack" Emilio, Matt, Rob Lowe, Judd Hirsch, Robert Downey.  I wanted the boy to hold up a boom box and have "In Your Eyes" playing outside my house.  There were posters without the Bay City Rollers now...now there were Motley Crue makeup wearing, long haired scary men who our fathers hated and ranted about much more than Shaun, Andy, the Bee Gees because they as men knew...they knew even if they could not admit it, what we liked now was not sweethearts but sex, sex with boys who were wrong for us.  

We all have these memories, that are part of who we are.  They are the evolution of our innocent "puppy love" to something so naughty that would hurt so good.  The nice guys come back into the picture around the time you want to get married.  Then there is now, for those of us late thirties and forties, when we are no longer unaware, afraid of, not sure of our sexuality.  We know what we like (some comfortable with not liking Andy but Victoria), we do not have to give it away to not be rejected or slowly for fear of reputations, we are comfortable asking for it.  We may want Tommy Lee (yes we all saw the video and wow) some nights and will ask our sweet Shaun partners for it.  This is the phenomena that drives 50 Shades of Grey.  We would not have known what to want at Anastassia's age but we would have enjoyed what Christian had to offer now, maybe even stuck him in the Red Room a time or two.  In a time when female sexuality is under attack (I mean really "sluts" because we want birth control) and being hidden (I am so done with the covering up requirements of religions, no I do not care if it is not PC..pull that shit off baby and be proud, no need to be naked...just proud) I love that women are saying we have buying power and what we can buy is sex and fantasy among other things.

Goodbye to my musical childhood idols, you like (our early youth) seem to have gone too fast...this mid life crisis is turning into a midlife parteee...so I am going blonder rather than pining for a blonde...going bolder...going to get me what I want....

You are the question and the answer is I.....Shadow Dancing


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