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Showing posts from April, 2011

Juliet or the Happy Ending

Love means nothing in tennis, but it's everything in life.  ~Author Unknown


We seem to be a bit schizophrenic when it comes to love.  I find the best songs about relationships seem to be the ones that are about doomed romances. Same goes for movies, plays, poems, books, etc....this seems to have been so since time immortal.  We tend to diminish and classify as "light" any story about people who fall for one another and end up together.  Do we really like a "happy ending" or do we prefer the angst?


After watching the coverage and the conversations that occurred with the Royal Wedding it really made me wonder if we are all romantics in cynics clothing or vice a versa.  The hardest part of course is that we have a whole host of issues with lust.  Love, lust, attraction, commitment words that can work together and be used against one another.  The wedding led to a discussion in my office on the merits of monogamy....and please do not tell me about some small brained …

Music is what feelings sound like (author unknown)

I grew up in a house where my Father loved music, almost all kinds (at some point he really hated some of the kinds I liked but never stopped me from listening to the "shit" as he called it).  He had a great collection of records that included everything from Romanian music, jazz, rock and roll, classical and even some pop music.  I can recall going with him to a record store from a very young age where he would spend what seemed like hours talking to the guys there about all sorts of music that they had or could get.  This was a small, independent store about a block away from our apartment in Astoria.  The same people worked there for years, funny I can picture the whole place so well including the employees.  They had a cash register with record players in back of them and were known to play a 45 for you if you were not sure that was the song you wanted.  For those who do not know, I cringe at how quickly I have gotten to the point where I am referencing obsolete technolo…

Yes we will be there for (insert holiday) lunch/dinner....

Ahh holidays...a time to get together, to share meals, to catch up with family and to carry on traditions. Oh yeah that's the Hallmark version.  For most of us the holidays are all of the above but they are also laced with guilt about where to be during them, the dysfunctionality of all families, and a lot of stress. Is it worth it ? At some point you will ask yourself this question, unless you are heavily medicated and just trying not to drool while getting through them. For me the stuff that makes me shudder is nothing compared to the memories I have from these gatherings.


 If you have a mixed family, and let's face it in the US and particularly New York this is likely, the jumble of cultures and cuisines leads to "spirited" times.  In order to be able to not have to decide between one set of families or another I have taken on some holidays.  My Mother really did not let this go gracefully, who am I kidding she often has a second of the holiday at her house the day…

The "C" Word......

Books won't stay banned.  They won't burn.  Ideas won't go to jail.  In the long run of history, the censor and the inquisitor have always lost.  The only weapon against bad ideas is better ideas.  ~Alfred Whitney Griswold,New York Times, 24 February 1959


Censorship sucks...okay now I can concentrate and continue this like an adult. As I was writing my blog on Judy Blume in was shocked to see how censored she was. What was even more interesting to me was that on her website she has a section on censorship. It appears that censorship movement has really become organized and able to actually have a legal impact only in the last 20 years. It moved out of the fringe and has been very successful at achieving their goals. That is potentially one of the more frustrating and sad discoveries for me.


I blame this on both sides of the fence.  Though an easier target, due to their lack of tolerance, the extreme Right has found a partner in censorship in the extreme Left.  These groups …

It's all Greek to me

Since I grew up in Astoria it is not surprising that some of my best friends and many of my experiences were with Greeks.  It is after all an area that houses many Greek immigrants and it is also a nationality that has many similarities to my Romanians.  The 2 countries share a religion and they share a sense of "why do today what you can put off until tomorrow" attitude...and no I did not write that backward that is exactly what I meant. They also tend to be people who love to have a good time, good music, and usually fight over paying a bill (everyone wants to pay and the common joke is that they will spend the money they do not have to make sure everyone had a good time)...they are both loud. They differ in many ways but those similarities are what always come to mind.

In my twenties one of my most memorable trips was to Greece with a group of 10 friends, most of whom were Greek.  There was a 12 hour boat "from hell" trip to get to the island of Kos, funds limit…

Are You There Judy? It's me Juliana

After writing my blog about how I love being the mother of boys I realized there is one thing that I cannot share with them...my Judy Blume collection.  Guess I could tell my Mom after all these years that she can donate them. Those books really were important to my life.....if anyone has the equivalent of a boys' series send them my way, however, I think it may be Treehouse, Goosebumps and other adventures for us.


These books  made you realize that you were not the only one going through something and also gave those of reading it (who seemed like every girl at the time) a way to bring up these topics.  In "Blubber" I found another girl who struggled with weight.  I totally related to her struggles to fit in a size 2 world with a size 8 body. In "Are You There God It's Me Margaret?" Margaret had many of the same questions and doubts and by the end of the book we both had a better understanding of "God" and puberty. It also spoke of first periods, …

Divorce

"For some reason, we see divorce as a signal of failure, despite the fact that each of us has a right, and an obligation, to rectify any other mistake we make in life." Joyce Brothers


Before we go any further this is not an announcement and my husband and I are not getting divorced at this time.  However, our neighbors are. It has led to a lot of questions and discussions in our house with our boys, particularly Max. People should not call it quits without trying, hard, but as the song says "sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts (Adele)".


I grew up in an era where divorce no longer carried the stigma it had in previous generations.  That is not to say that to many people it is still not negatively viewed.  I knew a number of people who got divorced who never saw it as an indication of failing. There were plenty of people around my family who did not divorce but instead chose to live unhappy lives with the person they were married to, usually ensuring that…

Boys, boys, boys.....

I am a minority....in my house at least.  I am the only woman. This is not that odd for me as someone who has always had a lot of male friends who often forgot I was a girl, think they still don't usually notice.  I have always liked boys...smirks understood, comments should be kept G rated...and never gave in to believing in stereotypes.  That nursery rhyme about boys being made of puppy dog tails is just down right obnoxious and I thought that before I had my own. 


I remember when I was pregnant, both times, people kept asking me what did I want to have. Having worked in health care for most of my life I really meant it when I said that I just wanted a healthy baby.  I could not imagine what the baby would be like so the sex was really irrelevant.   I wanted to find out the sex because I wanted to plan clothes and room, yellow and mint green should be left to Miami Vice re-runs.  I remember going with my Mom to the sonogram where they can determine the sex.  This is also the sono…

You have a Friend request

But friendship is the breathing rose, with sweets in every fold.
Oliver Wendell Holmes


As an only child friendships have always been very important to me.  I have been very lucky in my life to always have made really terrific friends.  I tend to cultivate these friendships and keep them for many years, four of my very dearest friends have been in my life since I was 8 and 9, my best friends since college.   After all if you find people who share your interests, who care for you, who will be there when you need someone, understand when to be silent and when to remind you that you are an ass (my two best friends are so good at all of these) it is worth dedicating the time to be a friend for these people as well.  Recently I told someone that I thought the definition of a good marriage is being friends with benefits (and since I am a married woman those FWB of my past shall remain there and not find their way into this blog).  I learned so much from my friendships with men (your secrets ar…

Royal Wedding...Feast for All

The Royal Wedding......At first I thought it seemed so outdated, an antiquarian notion to pay any homage to a monarchy.  It's not like the Royal family actually has any significant power politically anymore.  There is so much going on in the world that such a use of funds for this event seemed really out of touch for the people involved.  However, the more I read about this young couple the more I have been converted.  He is a man who uses his sphere of influence wisely and, as anonymously as his position allows, to do charitable work.  She seems very much to be the type of woman who will embrace her new position for much of the same.


I, much like the rest of the world, do not know this couple except for the public clippings but the talk of their wedding is much like that of a family member, very personal and opinionated.  In a world where there are so many wars, terrorism, natural disasters, poverty and a host of other depressing events this wedding maybe what we need.  A marriage…