Saturday, February 12, 2011

The Curse of the Tiger Mother and other Motherhood Myths ....

MOTHER....could have end this blog by writing that one word and leaving the rest to the reader to fill in.  We all have them, love them, fight them, get angry with them, seek their approval, revel and grow in their love, have complicated relationships with them and miss them if they are no longer with us.

In light of all of that how could being a Mother be anything less than the most complex job in the world.  As if those expectations were not enough there is also the added pressure of books, articles, TV shows and every other available media vehicle telling me how to be a Tiger Mother, Friend Mother, Fun Mother, Smart Mother...Wonder Woman had it easy compared to this and I don't even get the hot outfit with the gold lasso.  All that "helpful advice" screams "You are not doing this job as well as you could be!!!" to us Mommies.  After doing this gig for 6 years I find myself still conflicted.  I have days when those 2 little men in my house look at me as if there is a halo above my head and others when I think "Man, some therapist is going to be buying a new Porsche with all the time she will be billing for this".  I am the Perfect Mother and The What The Hell Was I Thinking Mother.  I am strict and fair, wrong and right, and often too tired to even think about what kind of Mother I was that day.  

My friendships with other Mothers have confirmed that most of us are not sure we are doing this right but we are all committed to being the best at it.  We could all use a little more time for ourselves, a little less unsolicited helpful advice from books, the media and other experts (public and personal).  Until I became a Mother I never knew how much love a person is capable of nor did I know that I would be so devoted to another person's entire existence. Being a Mother is the best experience I have chosen to have and I am hoping that the therapist will give us a family discount.

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