Tuesday, November 12, 2013

That's what friends are for

One of the things that has helped me grow as a woman and as a mother is my friendships with other mothers.  Women who represent the amazing breadth of power, intelligence and humor that make this long, crazy trip through parenthood that much better.  Thank you all for being the friends I value, the women I hope my boys grow up to marry and befriend, and the driving force behind the generation of kids that is sure to make the future that much better  for having been your children.  If imitation is the highest form of flattery well than Kris feel super flattered - I totally took the idea of a guest blog from your kind offer to let me do one on yours.  It was not easy narrowing down the women I asked to contribute, this could on for months with all the friends I have and of course then I would have to extend to the men I know who we cannot forget are the kinds of Dads most of us would build if we could, or the different types of families we are lucky enough to know.

I chose among my friends based on the women I knew had or have blogs too (some active, some not).  That was the sole criteria for picking only them.  Thank you ahead of time for taking the time out of what will seem to the readers and to me extraordinary lives. So next week you will get 2 blogs because what they wrote was so inspiring that I refused to edit them too much, ok I did it a little but we all know that I am comfortable with my control freak side, so it went from 1 to 2 blogs. 

Dori - my neighbor, my Sunday dinner buddy, and most of all my amazing friend and partner in parenting.  I cannot imagine life in this town without her and her family in ours - they are our adopted "cousins".  She does so much and is always ready to do more.  I have a ton of memories of times she has helped me pick up and take care of my kids, gave me advice, made me laugh, organized some great Mom's Nights Out, but mostly I often think of a trip we took when our kids first started school.  We thought we could take 4 young children to Target and corral them long enough to buy school supplies -- that worked for about a minute and then one of us was chasing (they were 6 years old and under) and yelling "Get here now -- now where did (insert name) just go?" and the other was getting school supplies off lists and wondering why we thought we could do this.  Supplies were gotten, children were herded and that may be the memory that explains our friendship- it's fun and we do well together even when it's not easy. 

Kris - If I was a girl in high school, and a mean one, I should not like her.  She is incredibly good looking, she looks like she and her family and her house are out of the pages of a magazine.  She has a full time job and a full time business, and 2 young boys and a husband.  She is elegant and she is that snack mom - you know the one, where she is not handing out snacks into cupped hands but has them nicely organized in baggies (with stickers - yes with stickers) for each child.  I mean really ewww - but I cannot say enough how much I do like her actually.  In all of that she is a good friend, super funny, witty, and overall just one of the nicest people I have ever met.  We can chat tv, music, and our fondness for memories of Jones Beach (and we both ♥ Dan Hill without shame).  I cannot dislike her, no one who meets her could, because she is just incredible and  you appreciate her. 

Elli - my bestest friendest who is braver than I hope to be.  She is a power house and as a friend well if you could design a best friend sister then I would have made her.  We have grown up together and through too many memories to list here she has always been there for me.  She is my rock, my logic, my what the hell do you think you were doing, and my biggest supporter.  I remember when she had her son and I knew that he was about to be mothered with a dedication that only she can bring.  As an only child my family is my chosen friends.  She has pushed me to like myself and to trust my own instincts so that I am a better mother for it too.   As I navigated job choices, living choices,  choices of men, bad choices in men and motherhood she has never been too busy in a very busy life to make sure that I have someone to run them by and remind me that even those choices that were not ideal were a good idea at the time and I can take something from them.

Victoria - is my neighbor.  She and I both found a love of politics as our common ground and from there our sense of friendship and community has cemented it.  We do not always agree and sometimes find ourselves far apart on the political spectrum but we have such common goals that we respectfully listen and learn from one another.  I wish more politics were done this way - with common goals of improving the planet, the town, the area all for our children and their playmates.  We never forget that our jobs as mothers drives our decisions and discussions about policies.  She is in public office in our town and I have to say that she has something no other politician has, my good friend Kim just got elected to the Town also so she will join this rank, my trust.  My trust that her goals are not for glory but for good.  

These are the women who I asked to guest blog next week.  I have started reading what they sent me and I am sure that you will agree with me on how special they all are.  I asked them to do this because as part of Thanksgiving I want to take a moment to thank all of them along with all the other mothers, and Dads, that are part of my life.  I asked them because they inspire me and I was hoping that they inspire whoever reads this.  I hope that you will be motivated by them or recognize yourself in these women, or maybe you know them or someone like them and takes a moment to be thankful for that too. 

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