Monday, February 20, 2012

The heart wants...what the heart wants

Tonight you're mine completely 
You give you love so sweetly 
Tonight the light of love is in your eyes 
But will you love me tomorrow?......Carole King



Talking, is that even the right verb when it occurs via Facebook or email?, to a friend the other day about Brad and Jen's marriage breaking up, yes somehow we fell into that "let's talk about them as if they were friends of ours" mode, and we had different views.  Now the funny part is we both have no idea what we are talking about when it comes to these two or any other couples, famous or not.  I mean after all what happens behind closed doors is a drama that unfolds daily without us as witnesses.  Even if we witness parts of it, famous or not famous, we really will never have the full picture....no one will except the players in that relationship. 


She mentioned that she did not buy the whole "heart what the heart wants" theory.  It got me thinking, or alright if you must snicker that talking about a celebrity couple actually made me ponder the state of relationships but am not alone as seen by the bazillion dollars that celebrity shows and magazines make, about that mysterious thing we call the heart.  Considering I have worked in some sort of healthcare function pretty much as long as I have actually been working I can go all clinical and say the heart has nothing to do with it.  Yet how then would we explain those woozy love songs, those sonnets, poems and pretty much most movies?!.  The heart may be the organ that pumps blood in medicine but it is the vital organ that is needed for the rest of the world to speak of that which we really cannot define.  


I guess maybe that is why it so annoys me, along with so many other things these days, when fundamentalists aka conservatives try and talk about love (who should love who) and the rightness or wrongness of loving just for loving sake, yep am saying it ain't always for procreation.  The heart wants what it wants...well and it is up to the brain to let it have it or not.  If you do let the heart do what it wants then people will feel amazing, giddy, stupid, wonderful and sometimes at the expense of someone else whose own heart will be sad. I do not condone, but here comes the libertine in me, nor condemn how people act upon their heart.  I only condemn it if one of the parties is in no position to make that choice but that is not love, that is called abuse and rape which have to do with dominance and control not love or sex.  


I have spent my life guarding that heart and letting the brain tell it to cut it out, put it in check, not let it out to do what it wants.  I do not live in regrets but do know that I made choices in not letting the heart tell the brain once in a while to zip it,  which in retrospect may have been safe but at some loss.  I still struggle, with the exception of a very select few and that is a minuscule select few, to allow the heart to go out there and run the show and the only time it wins hands down is when it comes to my boys (the heart gives the brain the finger on that one regularly).  


In the end we will never know what happened when a couple splits, famous or not, and sometimes they will not either.  In the end the heart needs to win at least once in a while even if it means it will be broken.  In the end the love we gave and the love we got is all that will fill the brain with memories. 


Think Carole captured it best for me
Is this a lasting treasure 
Or just a moment's pleasure? 
Can I believe the magic of your sighs? 
Will you still love me tomorrow? 

Tonight with words unspoken 
You say that I'm the only one 
But will my heart be broken 
When the night meets the morning sun? 

I'd like to know that your love 
Is love I can be sure of 
So tell me now, and I won't ask again 
Will you still love me tomorrow?

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