Teens, Travel and how to make it a vacation not a stresscation

 I love vacations - ok who doesn't?????  I have loved travelling, even if it was just weekends at Jones Beach with my parents and their friends (with kids and without) and then Valley Stream for a picnic. 

I remember my vacations with my parents. We were new immigrants so funds were low, being an only child helped since there was only one to pay for as opposed to families I knew who had 3 or more around my neighborhood.   I was also lucky to be sent on vacation with my friend Mary and her parents (she is an only child too), to Pittsburgh and Myrtle Beach with my mom's friends and their son (only child) ...seeing the connection I bet. 

I grew up in Queens, multitude of nationalities surrounded me.  As a kid, no one sent their kids to sleep away camp - that was for "Americans",  one got sent back to the home country for the summer if it is was a non Communist bloc country.  You managed your own time, you played in opened fire hydrants, tanned on roofs with baby oil and walked a lot in the heat and humidity,  That was vacation. 

My parents did take vacations, we drove to Florida in my dad's LeSabre - thing was bigger than my first apartment - in August. Yes, you read that right.   Yes it was as hot as you imagine, but it was cheaper and I became a walking song book of Dean Martin, Elvis, and other music as it played on my dad's 8track player.  Ooh them were the days.   We stayed in motels and Howard Johnson's, the pool and the sundae's were a treat.   The same trip was to be had when I went with Mary, her father drove, to both Florida and Virginia Beach - South of the Border was "the" stop to go to.  I can still picture the giant Mexican statue.

My parents also took me to Europe, we stayed at modest places, we ate on a budget.  We had to sightsee for 18 hours a day.   I complained, I complained even more once I got to hang out with people in a place and then had to go home.  I was a teen by this point .. which leads me to my own travels with my kids.

I love travelling - love it, I do not do camping, hostels or any of the roughing it.  I prefer to enjoy a place than to jam it with visit, I always think if I loved it enough I will go back (I often have).   I like a nice hotel, I prefer to save on that.  I do not need a super fancy place to dine, I live in New York, I can do that here.  I prefer a local place that serves really good food, not high prices. 

We have taken our children on vacations since they were too small to remember them.  There are ways to do this where you have to make the vacations work for the kids so that you do not need a vacation from the vacation you take with them.

We just returned from a trip to Spain.  A place I have been often, with my own fond pre-mommy/pre-married memories.   We took our sons.  They loved it, they want to go back.  Full confession they love travelling. 

I am often asked how do we make it work ?

We plan ahead.  I have learned it is worth to do less sightseeing and the tours we take should be private with a tour guide that caters to the ages of the children.  Worth every penny. No one wants to stand on line for a ticket and also wait on that line with children.

We allow for down time.  A lot more than if we did not have them with us.  They need to do whatever it is - parks when they were younger, watching videos, doing a water activity .. whatever.  It has to be all about them. 

We know restaurants with our boys may or may not work so we have to find ways to make it work.  One kid doesn't like meat, chicken is tolerated, but is not a fan of veggies - carbivore.   The other doesn't like seafood or eggs.  We have yet to be in a country where this has been an issue.  They can always have bread and butter.  You will have to adjust.  They will find things. 

You have to make sure they know the tv will not be in their language, nor will the menu.  I speak Spanish, I bumble in Italian, I can make out written French (and curse in all of them).   It helps to know the basic Hello,  do you speak English, where is the bathroom - you will find people will help you. This helps the kids think you are in control even there, kids are anxious by nature, teens are too.  They hate your authority but they need to see you have some. 

It is not the same as home but if you have a child who needs a dose of home - there is McDonald's everywhere.  Not knocking how anyone eats - you may find something else but if it is a choice between an argument that will wreck the day and a version of the big mac.. go for the mac. 

Keep sightseeing to bursts.  A few hours.  They will lose patience.  Reward every visit - with a treat.  They deserve it - I mean really any kid that can walk the Prado, Louvre, Vatican, etc.. and remembered at least one painting deserves a treat. 

My boys love travelling and they adjust and want to keep doing it.  They are used to differences in people because we live in New York.  They are grateful but I am pretty sure they do not realize how fortunate they are. 

Teens can be moody, like toddlers, like adults.  That will not change with the crossing of a state line or a border.  You would have experienced it anyway so don't use it as an excuse. 

Whatever your choice of vacation as a family is - local pool  to Safari - make it memorable.  I try and not think about what we didn't see but rather talk about our favorite things of the day with our dinners.  If they hate something it is ok - they are entitled to an opinion. 

We have so little time in busy lives to enjoy each other- teens and kids can test you when there is a lot of time together - they can also be the best part of those vacations.   So stresscation or vacation - your choice.  Me, I would rather look back on how good the tapas tasted last week - not the fact that I had to find the wifi password every moment that we sat down in a place.