Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Does this brie make me look fat?

I would love to tell you that I have some holiday pounds to get rid of -- but that would be a lie.  I just looked at the Amy Schumer naked pic and here are first thoughts that I admit to popping in my head

1) Why would she do this ?  Look at the rolls on her belly
2) If she would have sat up, turned uncomfortably, airbrushed, held breath then she would have looked so much better
3) Oh man - I barely look in the mirror never mind pose like this
4) Getting over myself and knowing it is all self-loathing issue
5) Her shoes are pretty awesome
6) The girl has great hair
7) Wonder if I borrowed from my 401K to pay Annie Liebovitz to take my pic would be considered a good idea
8) Fuck them - she is sexy and she likes to eat and not obsess over her weight - which I am trying to do -- those are nice shoes
9) black and white pictures are slimming

All within the space of a minute.  That is how my brain works.  I am surrounded by beautiful, fit women - I like to eat, and I like them.   I want to lose weight, I am pretty healthy and hell I can keep up with the tennis lessons but did I mention I would like to keep eating super tasty food even in smaller quantities rather than large ones of the "cleansing kind", do not want to drink any part of my meals - except as wine or Bailey's and most of all I am not seeking Victoria or her secret just not the struggle that it has been especially since I turned 40.  Speaking of which does that mean at 50 it all reverts back to say my 30s???

It is not holiday pounds and it is a struggle but the biggest fight is me, myself and I vs the mirror and the things it does to mess with my head.  It weirdly gives me confidence - I don't have to worry about the extra pound since it has friends that already are present.   I don't have to be the sexy one in the room because hell I am super funny.  It has improved my conversational skills - along with being an only child - you learn that unless they are ogling you (in a respectful or not way) you want to be noticed you better be well rounded, pun intended, along with being well...round.   It has made me a terrific shopper and accesory queen - you are not looking at my love handles if my rings distract.  I get to eat when others just look on.  These pounds, maybe some will go, are not a holiday trimming they are part of my reality 365 days a year.

So I looked at brave Amy - and no I have not borrowed from said 401K to have Ms Leibovitz take my picture will instead explore more black and white iPhone shots - and thought she is sexy.  She is not just the funny one.  She is all that with a bag of chips to share.  We do not all have to look the same - we are different - and beautiful - and not so beautiful and we need to learn to accept and love our pounds, kilos, stone (ok British friends this is by far my favorite method of telling people my stone as it is always a small number and let's face it no one else has a clue what the conversion is).

Someone finds each and every one of us to be a hottie - how about we start by feeling that way about ourselves?!!

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