Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Resolutions and reflections

  Sometimes as the 2000's fly by me at the speed of light I stop and remember the whole wonder that growing up with the idea that it would be the year 2000 meant for this 20th century girl.  My sons are born in a different century then me !!!! It seemed so mystical so "totally crazy".  Of course for those apocalyptic types business boomed - after all the end of the world had to be coming right ? I love how they reappear a few years later explaining how their calculations were wrong but for a fee they can tell you the real end of world and sell you supplies to survive it.  I do not have that approach to anything - if it is true am pretty sure there is nothing I can do to stop it and let's face it this fashion conscious girl is not walking around with a tacky, overstuffed backpack full of survival gear for her and her kids "just in case".  I gave up packing like that going between my parents post divorce - the weekend bag to my Dad's went from an Olympic weight lifting event with "just in case" everything from a punk to a royal ball party outfits to a fairly decent size (leave some of the hairspray, 2nd blowdryer, banana clips - it was the late 80s hair required it's own luggage - at his house) reasonable bag.  

So here we are on the edge of 2013 - flying to 2014.  I have never been a big resolution person.  I realized the folly in my making them as I usually gave up smoking in my youth on that night only to wake up and try to salvage at least one from the pack I had so determinedly crushed in my resolution the night before.  I once gave up a man on New Year's because I realized that my feelings for him did not reside in my heart or my head but in shudders and shivers and his feelings for me resided no where.  I actually stuck to that one (shiver).  

Instead of resolutions that I may or may not keep or even remember I have recently started to do reflections on things that I may be missing in my actions or life.  Last year I realized how long it had been since I had painted - something I so love doing and yet it had fallen to the basement, brushes stiff, canvases well stored where I would look at them once in a while.  Now with the boys being older I dragged them all up to my sunroom and 2013 was the year I started to paint again. 

This year I am reflecting and there are a few things I would like to make sure that I focus on.  Things that may not mean much to anyone else but do to me.  There is the book that I always want to write, have notes all over the place for a new one, but never seem to get it together to do.  I know that for as easy as it is for me to write how I feel I am not always as comfortable eye to eye saying things, so they go unsaid too often (maybe 3-4 people besides my kids ever broke that in me).  There is also my new Nike fuelband which is making me reflect and resolve to walk a little more, do a little more  - overpriced placebo on my wrist is already working. 

In 2013 there were things that went right, events that hurt, but as with any year I took away from each experience the sense of how lucky I am overall to have the life I have even with the bumps (sometimes craters) in the road.  

Do you make resolutions ? Do you stick to them ? I wish you well with them but don't be too hard if they cannot always get done. 

Happy New Year - raise a toast, kiss with gusto and reflect on what you want for 2014 while storing away what 2013 meant to you!!



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