Mother's Day

   If you ever need a gentle reminder, to save you from the guilt and not so gentle reminders that will haunt you forever, this is it... SUNDAY IS MOTHER'S DAY.

Now pretty much most mothers will tell you not to fuss, not to worry, that a card will do... and when you are in grammar school with your hand drawn cards and gifts it is so true.  However, if you are holding down a steady job regardless of annual pay you better get that woman at least some nice flowers with said card that you actually took the time to read prior to buying and sending.  

They deserve it - the mothers.  It is really an amazingly difficult job that never ends.  I was lucky enough to have an imperfect perfect mother.  She was not always right... but you knew to say she was at least 99.9% of the time regardless of the veracity of that statement.  She was not always fair... well to me she wasn't especially when I was a teenager so there may be some bias in that statement.  My mother did not really hit, even in an era when hitting was not seen through the whole politically correct lens that equates a swat on the butt to a beating.  She instead had Guantanamo Bay worthy punishment tactics.  My mother did not give a punishment at the time of my said infringement, she thought it through and wham all of sudden as I was getting ready for a party I "was dying" to go would remind me that I was not allowed.  She also had stealth tactics employed from a distance before the nanny cam. My mother worked in the city and I came home every day after school and I was to have a snack (prepped nicely in fridge for me), do my homework, practice piano and then only then watch tv.  Now for you youngsters reading this let me share a little secret.  The tv back then, huge piece of furniture, would get hot in the back, the longer it was on the hotter.  So imagine my dismay when she knew I may have had snack, done homework in front of the tv that I should not have had on... it was lava hot.  Then there was the piano practicing.  Here is where my mom was week, every day before my Friday afternoon lesson she smilingly asked me if I had practiced and I smiled and said of course.  That Thursday Agent Mom nicely without any warning took me to said piano, lifted the lid and asked me how I had managed to practice every day without disturbing the clothespins (on each and every white key I might add) on the keyboard??? Yeah BUSTED.  

My mother was always there for me.. she may not have liked what I had to say, may sometimes provide me with feedback that really is not useful (yes Mom I know I still struggle with weight), and provided lots of guidance even when not asked for it.  I love her for this, well the weight thing there is always therapy time for, because she never did it without the thought of how I may be better for it.  My mother has always sacrificed for me and with me in mind.  She never tells me I am perfect but she always tells me she is proud of me.  She taught me to love so much about life and to be optimistic especially when it is so much easier to roll my eyes and just sit down to cry.  My mother's life was not easy, hard work, hard husbands, ok not always the easiest only child (what? I was a teenager and I am fiercely independent with a mother who wants to "help" a lot). My mother has always found pleasure in the things that she did have and taught me to do the same.  She taught me what love meant without boundaries, especially when I was not the easy child.  My boys just adore her - because as good a mom as she was she is an even more amazing, though the amount of lenient behavior she exhibits toward my kids is my eye roll, as a grandmother.  

I was not always sure I wanted to be a mother - I cannot imagine not being one now. My boys have taught me to love with an abandon that scares me.  I am so good at controlling my feelings (and avoiding giving 100% to everyone but maybe 2 or 3 people) and yet they unlock an abundance of emotions that take me from elated, to scared, to Exorcist head turning mad, to protective, encouraging and madly in love all sometimes within the first 10 minutes of walking through the door.  This mother's day thank you to my mother, all the wonderful women who are mothers that I am lucky to have befriended through my sons, my friends who have turned out to be "bow down to" mothers and most of all to my sons who make me a better woman for being their mother. 



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