Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Men...sheesh and smooches

For those of us who are married to, in a relationship with, or just have to deal with them we often feel it is like dealing with a different species...and yes we often treat it like the little bus, special needs species.  I find myself guilty of this...I try and pride myself on my lack of generalizations about people based on a singular trait yet when it comes to men...guilty, guilty, guilty....I have partaken and been the ringleader in many a men bashing session.  

It is (ok here comes the justification) just that men will get the brunt of whatever ire I have based on the one I am currently with and there are traits that seem to be universal. Here are some I have seen based on discussions I have had across ethnic, religious, age divides with other women;  it appears that the majority think there is a secret hiding place for the things we all use in the same house daily.  Maybe they think that to get to the cereal you must go through the Maxwell Smart labryinth passing a retinal scan programmed only for the woman in the house...because they are looking right at something and not seeing it.  Maybe it is the way they leave a trail, and yes there are those of you men out there who are not like this but you are the minority, of clothes, items they used, newspapers in their wake.  Is the way they can recite sports statistics, or book info or insert their hobby of choice, yet seem to struggle to remember dates or names for the family and their friends?  I still am startled by the fact that I cannot ask a question that is relevant to their offspring while a highlight of a game my husband just watched is being discussed by strangers on tv!  Then there is the lack of multi-tasking ability coupled with the fact that it seems that a request is never seen as immediately needing to be completed...I mean do you think I meant at some time prior to the end of this century??? Or is it the questions that women never ask ? "What should I feed the children?", yes same children we both live with, I mean after all the answer will never be escargot with home churned chive butter even in France.  


For all of this, and trust me we make fun of you on a regular basis and yes your worst nightmare that we tell our girlfriends things is true, I love men.  I have always loved men, think I had a crush on someone when I was a in kindergarten. I love the way their bodies are different than ours, the way they look and sound and ooh a little cologne makes me giddy.  Men who have opinions so much less complicated than the nuances we as women add to the situation, usually in our heads, that help you get to a solution.  I will admit that usually working for a man is much preferred ...they do not bring the emotional baggage or worse the bitch who will make you suffer like she did personality to the table. I do think it cannot be easy to live with us either...we just are better at talking about it and maybe they have a healthier attitude since they do not let things annoy them the way most us let them aggravate us.


We recently watched a documentary on the way men's roles have changed in Western societies, am hoping that at some point those countries who are still working on getting out their own way and embracing the current century will get here, and I actually was sad that I never thought of it from their perspective.  I know the struggles women had and have, and scared of the way some people are trying to add restrictions to our growth and equality, but really this show was a bit of a wake up.  Men's roles were clearly defined before the women's movement, they knew who they were supposed to be and now well are they supposed to hold the door for us (yes), tell us what to do (no), stay at home to take care of children (maybe).  Top that with a bunch of folks who do not really talk about their feelings and it must be hard.  I can only help my boys become men who are comfortable in this era, where women are their equals as well as frustrating know-it-alls who will answer basic questions (like where is the cereal) with an eye roll and a "really?" because that is who women are.  I can only hope that my boys love who they are because only then can the be the men who love who they are with.  So to men ..cheers...maybe put away some of your crap and listen to us once in a while...but overall keep being yourselves because for those of us who choose you for partners you are the yin to our yang. 


Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other.  Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.  ~Katharine Hepburn

1 comment:

  1. So much truth. Tom's advice to the groom at every wedding we've been to: "Learn these six words: 'You were right, I was wrong'". Any older men standing nearby ALWAYS agree (as do their wives)!

    As hard as it is to do, we have to learn to let a lot of stuff go. I don't care how hubby folds the laundry if he's willing to do it. If it matters that much to me, I'll redo an item or two to fit in the space I have for it. And of course, I have my revenge always at the ready: a honey-do list in the form of an Excel document with each room having its own worksheet!

    "I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess." - Red Green

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