I love Shakespeare -- he said

   On my commute the other day I eavesdropped on the conversation that was happening in the seats of the aisle next to me.  Listen, it's public transport and I admit my own total nosy nature.  I mean if these were different times I would be all over hanging on a fence to see what was going on, not to pass on it on maliciously but because I am fascinated by people watching.  It could be an only child thing too, one entertains oneself by people watching and using a very active imagination. 

Across from me where two young people, early twenties based on the conversation.   It's a quiet train and we were not in the no-fun aka quiet car.   Their conversation was not loud but loud enough. 

They obviously were just recently dating, it is a 45 min ride which means it provided me with plenty of time to "know" this couple.  The first thing that got my attention, beyond my normal nosiness, was the cute way they kept touching.  Those small touches on the hand or leg when one speaks, the smile they elicit.  You know them, the touches that make your stomach flip when you are attracted to another person.   The small smile, the slight blush.  It made me smile.

The conversation then switched to places they like to go to.  He was starting a career as a teacher.  He spoke fondly of wanting to travel and she wanted to go all those same places, but of course.  She mentioned the tickets her parents always gave her to Boscobel.  He did not know what that was.   She explained the outdoor Shakespeare and here is where I knew that they had just started dating.  He went into how he loved Shakespeare.  Now I know he might have, he had some familiarity with it, but the way he spoke of it and her reactions screamed of a man wooing his new partner. 

We all have those memories, the ones that speak to early relationships, to crushes, to mad passionate affairs.   I mean the person could have said they like watching grass grow and we would have been suddenly all on the ground watching it with them. 

They changed topics, after she told him how smart he was and he told her how he was so impressed with how well rounded and smart she was, touch knee, giggle. 

The next topic was about kids.  Not how many, too soon in the relationship I think, but how they both wanted them but how he was not going to be the type of parents he too often sees.  The one that forgets his wife is more than just a mother.  She agreed.  He mentioned that after 4 months the baby could be left with a grandparent for a date night, she countered with it might need to be a year, he agreed.   They spoke of the importance of being more than a parenting relationship that they wanted to make sure that they still had time for their partner.  To have dates, to remember why they married the person to begin with.   To do things that give the other pleasure even if it's not something they might choose, or to encourage the other to pursue hobbies. Ahh such good plans. 

I wanted to laugh, walk over and say;
"It's not 4 months, or a year, but several years because even if you get a sitter you have so much prep work that it is exhausting.   If you go out You will talk about the kids when they are little even when you go out.  You are too tired to spell hobby never mind pursue one."  I wanted to say "But .. and here is the big one all those things are spot on.  When you get to kids who are around 6 and up, maybe slightly younger and maybe slightly older, you will start to get out here and there.".

I wanted to tell them to keep that giggling, touchy, I love you no I love you for always.  I almost crossed over to tell them how all consuming kids can be and how much you will be ok with that.  That you will want to go out with your kids a lot because they are only yours for a very short time and then they will be on a train, gazing into someone else's eyes and making plans that will not involve you.

They were right you need to nurture your partner, your romantic relationship and continue to keep the embers glowing.  You liked the person when you met, you found common interests, you found ways to be individuals and a couple.  Your kids will leave and you will be back to two people, on train.. or in a car.. or walking.. or sitting and you should be looking to touch each other and get some of that flutter always.   If that's not the case and you no longer find that there is no shame in finding it apart with other people, not all relationships will last forever. 

Whatever the outcome, it is good to reflect once in a while on those first moments and make sure you don't quite let them die ..make a date, make a memory, make out and then shock the kids on a train by talking about it.