What do you know ???

 I remember being a teenager, unlike some of parent peers I also know I was difficult at times and not the perfect child that they recall being.  

I now have teenagers, one already here and one will be 13 in a month.  My 15 year old is definitely is a full on teenager.  I get the eye rolls, the mood swings and most of all I get the either spoken or implied "what do you know?" look.  

As a teenager I was convinced my parents knew NOTHING.  I mean NOTHING.  Sure they might know book facts but as far as being a teenager I was sure there was no way they could offer me any useful advice.  They were from a different country, different times and they had after all (in my mind) been teenagers like a thousand years prior to me.  I did not think of my parents as old but their childhood was eons before mine in my mind.

In fairness my parents were reasonable on some items, they were not overly uptight, they were pretty funny and my friends liked them.  Especially my mom.  She is a great woman, I appreciate her, I may not have as much then.  Sure she was nice but hey she was my mom and rules were different for me than for friends. 

They were highly unreasonable too - I had much stricter curfews than my friends, my development and growth were on a different timeline than the one they parented too.  People were dating, wearing makeup and nail polish, going out to later hours and sleeping over -- yeah no, nope, no and yeah only if they knew the parents really well (read almost no one).   

While I was raised to value education, read, argue politics (this is part of Eastern European DNA) I was also supposed to fall in line when it came to questioning them, especially my father = ok mostly my father about the rules.  My mother made a rule and there seemed to be little reason to argue - she at least listened before saying no or yes with a modifier.  To my father it was a battle of wills.  We were close prior to this stage - it was a war after.  His own issues and my fear of his reaction led for a lot of subterfuge and pent up anger on my end.   

My friends and I laugh at how often we were not where we said we were, how we could not be tracked via cell phones (since they did not exist then) and how lucky we are to not be headlines from those misadventures.  

So what do I know?  That now annoys me - how did I become that parent?  I was cool, still am but it can change on a dime, to my kids.  I am cringy(their word) and impressive with my knowledge of current pop culture in equal measures.  

I also have to deal with something my parents didn't - social media.  I have to make sure it is drummed into them that this is a dangerous area while understanding it is their social currency as much as passing notes was mine.   I have to deal with social media in a way where I do not get the "what do you know?" look. 

It is hard, people told me it would be.  It is fun to watch them evolve again and pushes me to rethink how I parent.   Yet it is scary, exhausting, frustrating too.  I just want them to make it through this stage, like I did.  Making mistakes and learning from them, hoping they are minor and not life impacting.  Watching who they are friends with, oh our parents were right that this is the biggest influence at this age.  

I can live without the moodiness and yet I know it is part of the process.  Yeah and some days I don't tell them but I eye roll at myself in my head and wonder "what do you know?" about myself, as much as I think it about them when they think they are slick and hell they are so not.